I wish I was a bigger fan of the cheesy romance flick. I am a female and I suppose there is something hardwired within me to crave a dilemma which forces me to choose between a rustic bad boy and a straight laced ad exec with really perfect hair. Within the depths of my soul the movies tell me that I should probably want to be swept away on a horse in a wedding dress (gross) or have Patrick Dempsey bring me into a jewelry store full of wedding rings late at night so I can pick my favorite one (name those movies). Maybe I do, in some way that is more based in my own reality. I find it odd that I am able to be so forgiving with horror films, sci fi movies, action thrillers, etc. I love that sense of heightened reality that comes with something spectacular, super gory and hideously unbelievable. I am a fan of stories that are actually stories and not exact reflections of real life. Real enough to relate to the characters, but fictional enough to be a great form of escapism and story telling. A horror movie follows an unbelievable and deliciously fictional formula the same way a romantic film does, but yet I scoff at the new Rachel McAdams movie in a way that is much more sincere than when I scoff at a bad horror movie (see: all the Saw movies). It’s not believable for Michael Myers to be decapitated and then survive in Halloween H20, the same as it’s probably unlikely for Andrew McCarthy to be waiting for you outside your prom (unless he was selling you coke). Alas (that’s right, I used “alas”) though, as Emma Stone said in Easy A, “life is not a John Hughes movie, no matter how much you want it to be.”
I suppose that’s the difference, girls want their lives to be like Katherine Heigl’s life in, like, um, every movie she was ever in, while one would not crave being at a summer camp where you and your buddies are being hunted and killed off one by one by a super scary looking psychopath (keep in mind, that’s Friday the 13th not Halloween). Perhaps that’s why I’m not as forgiving, instead of yelling at the big titted blonde to run out the door instead of up the stairs I’m yelling at the sense of longing, something not quite as enjoyable, something almost sad. Shut up TV, no guy is going to sing a song to me on an airplane about how he’ll always let me hold the remote control (name that movie).
Despite the steady of supply of romantic bullshit being cinematically tossed my way, I like to indulge in a good romance sometimes, and I find that I like two kinds: ones that are incredibly real and I can relate, or ones that offer the perfect dose of heightened reality with scenes that get burned so severely into your brain that they naturally seep into the romantic parts of your heart. In the nature of my fleeting addiction to writing about movies, here’s two of the best relatable romantic films and one from the heightened reality variety that I find are quite comforting on lonely nights.
Peter and Vandy
Peter and Vandy is perhaps the most realistic portrayal of a long term relationship you’l
l ever see. And in a different way than how, say, Blue Valentine is uncomfortably realistic, though they’re notably filmed in the same way; out of sequential order, in which you see them first towards the end, then at the beginning, them in the middle, their demise, and ultimate reconciliation. Peter and Vandyperfectly captures the tiny idiosyncrasies in a relationship, the ones that drive you crazy but are inevitable. Notably, I love the scene in which the couple is home after work sitting around and he complains about being hungry and they have a semi-serious argument that goes something like: “what do you want to eat?” “I don’t know, what do you want?” “Lets try that new Thai place” “Nah, don’t wanna go out” “Fine, get whatever then” “Well, what do you want?” “I don’t care, I’m not that hungry, “ “So you don’t care?” “No, get whatever.” And he picks up the menu and dials and she, naturally, says “I’ll just eat something here then.” He hangs up. “Get your coat, we’ll try that new Thai place.” The film so perfectly captures the subtle nuances of having to agree on mundane things, and how it’s often one or the other who must submit to the other person’s wants.
As the film progresses in shows classic things that go wrong in relationships: he starts a new job, meets new people, tells her he feels like she’s always trying to change him, develops a connective friendship with another woman, and things fall apart. This scenario isn’t exclusive to men which is obvious and nice, and the genders could easily be flipped. The climax of the shows Peter finally confessing his feelings to her in both a heart wrenching and shockingly real scene on their apartment’s sofa: they fight, they talk, they fight, they fuck, they fight— he leaves. What sets Peter and Vandy apart from other relationship movies is its ability to show the character’s subtle flaws, the ones that initially draws them to each other, and ultimately becomes what tears that apart. Throughout the film it shows the couple, happy and bubbling as guests at a wedding, analyzing and picking apart the couples around them: “I’m not like that to you, am I?”, “We’re not like that, are we?” This is also the final scene in the movie, the couple dancing at a wedding that’s not theirs, back together, to a love song. I would have loved this film whether the two characters ended up together or not, but the story of them coming to the realization that they do, in fact, love each other is sweeter and more satisfying that any Katherine Heigl movie. The realism and likable characters coupled with a soundtrack filled with amazing love and breakup songs from Frightened Rabbit, Animal Collective and The Shaky Hands make it one of my all time favorite love stories.
Breaking Upwards
Breaking Upwards is a love story whil
e simultaneously being a break up story, which is often more compelling and layered. Zoe Lister-Jones and Daryl Wein co-wrote the film together, Wein directs and edits, and they both star in the title roles. It is the epitome of a do-it-yourself hip indie flick which shows a seemingly awesome, perfect couple who feel stunted by co-dependency and decide to take “days off” from their relationship. Four days they’re a couple, three days a week they are not. I liked it right away as the comedic elements aren’t forced and come off as genuinely true and funny, sometimes even a little sad. The initial concept was for them to not date other people, but rather work on themselves, be productive, read books they’ve been meaning to read, etc. which naturally spirals into both characters testing the waters with other people.
Breaking Upwards isn’t as good a film as Peter and Vandy or a classic like Say Anything, but it’s sweet and heartbreakingly real in its own right, which is why it’s worth watching. It touches on things is like hacking into your significant others email and Facebook, calling all night with no response, founded and unfounded jealousies and coming to the ultimate realization that it’s time to move on. The ride the film takes you on to get there is funny, smart and, for me, gives much needed reminders that you are not the only one in the world who may go crazy when pulling so hard for another, they write entire movies about it. The film ends with Zoe realizing Daryl has fucked someone else, after which she admits, filled with tears, that she has done the same and says sincerely that she “didn’t like it.” Which, as the hard and dirty fucking from behind scene shows in the film, was the truth. Daryl retorts, “that’s too bad, ‘cause I did.” The final shot where the two of them see each other, after the break up is complete, when he is getting in a cab to leave the city, and both of them suddenly tear up is a rare and beautiful scene, one that somehow captures the heart of the film without being too cheesy and predictable.
Say Anything
Perhaps a cliche choice, but Lloyd Dobler’s efforts to win the heart of a beautiful valedictorian is so charming that no female could rightly watch the movie without fantasizing about a boy truly in love going to such great lengths to simply gain your company. Say Anything has become a classic, notably, the scene of Lloyd outside her house blasting Peter Gabriel in hopes she’ll reject her Father’s advice and be with him. That’s not my favorite scene in this movie though. By far the very best scene, the one that always makes me cry, is after that scene, when she finds out her Father’s been lying to her and she goes to Lloyd at the kickboxing gym. He gets kicked in the face and his nose is bleeding and she says, “I love you, nothing else matters, I love you” and he looks down and he wipes his nose, and she tries to hug him but he pushes her away, she hurt him and he’s battered and bloody and unsure about her advances, so he pushes her away and he says “Are you here because you need me or are you here because you just need someone” then he pauses, looks down, up at her and says “never mind, I don’t care” and they kiss and it’s awesome and I cry and fuck that movie is so good.
Say Anything is a movie I cannot help but love despite offering the same type of romantic sentiments that are not generally found out here in reality. A perfect, sweet, funny boy who falls so quickly and deeply in love because… um… she was… valedictorian? That’s not important. What’s important is that she just, like, accept that and stop being such a bitch to him and get over her dumb Daddy issues and submit to some John Cusack love. I will stop and watch it whenever it’s on and wait until the break up scene in the car and inadvertently find myself calling her a dumb bitch for being such a god damn cunt to Lloyd. Say Anything offers the right amount of heightened reality without pushing you so far off that you couldn’t see it maybe kind of happening a little bit to someone, somewhere.
There is something about scenes in love stories that seem to make me swoon the same I’m sure as all the dumb girls watching When in Rome or The Notebook, and I can’t deny that. My love for movies has become such big part of my head space that it’s only natural that I’d take a line from Sleepless in Seattle and remind myself of it time and again, “you don’t wanna be in love, you wanna be in love in the movies.” Because of course you do, who wouldn’t want to be in love like people are in love in the movies. Who wouldn’t you want to be rescued by Jack Dawson in Titanic or be someone’s Sally to their Harry?
There’s no reason we shouldn’t crave love like you see it in the movies, but no matter how much a girl might crave those cinematic elements, reality always falls down on you like the top of the Titanic crashing into the water when it finally breaks in two pieces. Lloyd Dobler can never exist the same way Michael Myers can never exist, because there’s no way he can walk at such a slow steady pace and somehow still catch his victim sprinting down the hall. The movies are the movies, that’s why they’re sectioned off in a dark room that you have to pay money to go into. That’s why when the lights come back up there’s never a boy holding a stereo above his head at your car, and so you do what Lelaina Pierce does in the perfectly titled Reality Bites, you put a hoodie on, lay on your bed, chain smoke and listen to “Stay” by Lisa Loeb.
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